Jared L.'s Testimony (Healing)
Nicole W.'s Testimony (Always a Plan)
Jackie's Testimony (Random)
Chelse B.'s Testimony (Abuse)
Sarah M.'s Testimony (Depression and Fear)
Annie L.'s Testimony (God's Love)
When I was in 5th grade I started to get really irritable. I'd always leave the dinner table cause people were chewing their food too loud. I'd always get mad at my family. I caused soo much tension in my family. It was crazy. So we wen't back to the neurologist found out I had O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) as well. So we went and got more meds from the psychologist. I was having weekly counseling sessions cause of all this stuff going on. But I kept on truckin'.
In 6th grade there was this one kid who totally hated me. I have no idea why. He was an 8th grader so there was nothing I could do about it. He picked on me pretty much everyday, and on
Even though I got grounded for like 2 or 3 months, and lost my parents trust, I was so glad they found out. I'd never felt so free as I did the night my parents found out. It felt like this huge wall had been broken down between us. I didn't have to keep lying to them and hiding weed from them. God is soo good. He's blessed me with a family and friends who care about me, but not about my past. They still love me. So does God. I've never been so tight with God as I am now. I haven't even had the slightest desire to smoke pot since that night. I'm a totally different person now. Check out this verse sometime, James 5:14-16. It's the verse of my life. God is Awesome!"
Nicole W.'s Testimony (Always a Plan)
About 10 years ago my little sister and I were adopted. We had become victims of a drug using mom and kids of a dad who couldn't decide what was more important to him in life, us or alcohol. I was adopted into a family with 2 brothers and 1, sister all of whom were all over the age of 18. A few years after I was adopted my older sister was married and things with my mom and I started to go wrong, I moved in with my sister. At that time I was going to a public school, I was very attached and one day they told me that I was going to be placed at a private Christian school. I was way upset but agree to try it for a year. Well the year started and I soon began to fall in love with that school. Then a girl that needed someone to take care of her while her mom was at work, moved in with us for a few months. She was a year younger than I and I hated her. The school year came to an end and then I was told that I was going to have to go back to public school because the costs were too expensive. My heart broke and it was then that I realized that if I was going to survive then I would have to have Jesus. So I asked God into my life. When the school year started at the public school God convicted me of how I had treated this girl that lived with us. I asked God to forgive me and the next day we received a phone call from my old school saying that they would help pay for me to go back to school there. There was no doubt that God was waiting for my heart to be right, going to a private school was a blessing and when I treated this girl the way I did, I was treating God the same way. Well, the years went on and I was soon in 8th grade. I was listening to my radio before school and I heard the verse Romans 8:28 (awesome verse) I didn't think much of it but as the day went on and came to an end I recall that I had heard this verse about 4 times in one day. I knew that God was trying to tell me something but I didn't know what. Finally at church my youth pastor said that we need to be willing to do anything for God no matter what the cost, because God has a plan. The next day my family said that I was going to a public high school because they wanted me to know what the world was like outside of my private school. I was scared outta my mind but I knew that God had a plan and he was going to take care of me. I started my 9th grade year at the high school and I realized that before people will listen to you talk about God, they want you to be real with them and relate to them. Eventually that year came to an end and my family wanted to move to Oregon. I was terrified as the summer days passed. My family traveled to Oregon where my brother- in- law found a job, and then our house sold. I began to turn away from God and question him. I doubted that God had a plan and I told myself that if God loved me then he wouldn't move me because I had been given so many opportunities to lead bible studies, be on leadership for both choir and church, and I had developed friendships that were just beginning to get better. I soon went to my last function with my youth group, it was camp at Hume Lake. Ironically the theme of the camp was living like an alien to this world, based on the verse 1Peter 2:11. As the week came to an end I could feel God tugging at my heart telling me that if I trust him he will take care of me and I will be okay. Well I came home and our house had fallen out of escrow. I was excited but deep down inside I knew that I would have to surrender my will to God. That night I did and I wasn't any longer than a week before our house sold and we bought a house in Oregon. I was so scared but I knew that if this was going to go smoothly then I would have to trust God. Well, the day eventually arrived when I had to say goodbye to all the people and places that had played a huge roll in my life, my heart broke because I felt like I was leaving the people who I loved so much. Well we got to Oregon and I started school, at first it was so hard then it got easier, and now I don't know where I would be if I hadn't moved. Looking back now I realized that in Cali I had found a place of complacency and had grown stagnant. When I moved I learned that God had a plan for my life and that he wasn't going to move me unless I was totally ready, it showed me how much God loves me because he was willing to wait for me to surrender, he didn't want to hurt me. When I moved here God put this guy in my life who isn't a Christian, smokes pot, and drinks, the past year that I have lived here this guy and I have become really close friends, he would always ask about God and challenge me in my faith. This guy also moved here from California and he had been doing pot for 4 years, in 8 months he has completely stopped doing it, not because I had the perfect words but because God worked through me. However, my heart still broke for this guy, It hurt me so much to know that he didn't know Jesus, so after I got back from Creation 2005 I took the 48 hour challenge that one of the speakers asked us to take. I wrote this guy a letter telling him all about God, its been a few weeks since I gave him the letter and I haven't heard a thing from him, sometimes that scares me but I've realized that Gods timing is so perfect, I cant do anything to change this boy but God can. God is so amazing and he wants to do things in his timing because he loves us and he truly knows what's best. My life has been all about learning how to trust God, He is always taking me out of my comfort zone, sometime I'm really stubborn but God always teaches me something new. As of right now I still live with my sister and her husband, they have 5 kids, 3 of which were adopted. Sometimes I still question if God knows what he is doing, but then he shows me how perfect he is, I cant help but be humbled before him and stand in awe. Of everything I have been through there isn't one thing I would change because in the midst of everything God has always been faithful and He always will be.
About 10 years ago my little sister and I were adopted. We had become victims of a drug using mom and kids of a dad who couldn't decide what was more important to him in life, us or alcohol. I was adopted into a family with 2 brothers and 1, sister all of whom were all over the age of 18. A few years after I was adopted my older sister was married and things with my mom and I started to go wrong, I moved in with my sister. At that time I was going to a public school, I was very attached and one day they told me that I was going to be placed at a private Christian school. I was way upset but agree to try it for a year. Well the year started and I soon began to fall in love with that school. Then a girl that needed someone to take care of her while her mom was at work, moved in with us for a few months. She was a year younger than I and I hated her. The school year came to an end and then I was told that I was going to have to go back to public school because the costs were too expensive. My heart broke and it was then that I realized that if I was going to survive then I would have to have Jesus. So I asked God into my life. When the school year started at the public school God convicted me of how I had treated this girl that lived with us. I asked God to forgive me and the next day we received a phone call from my old school saying that they would help pay for me to go back to school there. There was no doubt that God was waiting for my heart to be right, going to a private school was a blessing and when I treated this girl the way I did, I was treating God the same way. Well, the years went on and I was soon in 8th grade. I was listening to my radio before school and I heard the verse Romans 8:28 (awesome verse) I didn't think much of it but as the day went on and came to an end I recall that I had heard this verse about 4 times in one day. I knew that God was trying to tell me something but I didn't know what. Finally at church my youth pastor said that we need to be willing to do anything for God no matter what the cost, because God has a plan. The next day my family said that I was going to a public high school because they wanted me to know what the world was like outside of my private school. I was scared outta my mind but I knew that God had a plan and he was going to take care of me. I started my 9th grade year at the high school and I realized that before people will listen to you talk about God, they want you to be real with them and relate to them. Eventually that year came to an end and my family wanted to move to Oregon. I was terrified as the summer days passed. My family traveled to Oregon where my brother- in- law found a job, and then our house sold. I began to turn away from God and question him. I doubted that God had a plan and I told myself that if God loved me then he wouldn't move me because I had been given so many opportunities to lead bible studies, be on leadership for both choir and church, and I had developed friendships that were just beginning to get better. I soon went to my last function with my youth group, it was camp at Hume Lake. Ironically the theme of the camp was living like an alien to this world, based on the verse 1Peter 2:11. As the week came to an end I could feel God tugging at my heart telling me that if I trust him he will take care of me and I will be okay. Well I came home and our house had fallen out of escrow. I was excited but deep down inside I knew that I would have to surrender my will to God. That night I did and I wasn't any longer than a week before our house sold and we bought a house in Oregon. I was so scared but I knew that if this was going to go smoothly then I would have to trust God. Well, the day eventually arrived when I had to say goodbye to all the people and places that had played a huge roll in my life, my heart broke because I felt like I was leaving the people who I loved so much. Well we got to Oregon and I started school, at first it was so hard then it got easier, and now I don't know where I would be if I hadn't moved. Looking back now I realized that in Cali I had found a place of complacency and had grown stagnant. When I moved I learned that God had a plan for my life and that he wasn't going to move me unless I was totally ready, it showed me how much God loves me because he was willing to wait for me to surrender, he didn't want to hurt me. When I moved here God put this guy in my life who isn't a Christian, smokes pot, and drinks, the past year that I have lived here this guy and I have become really close friends, he would always ask about God and challenge me in my faith. This guy also moved here from California and he had been doing pot for 4 years, in 8 months he has completely stopped doing it, not because I had the perfect words but because God worked through me. However, my heart still broke for this guy, It hurt me so much to know that he didn't know Jesus, so after I got back from Creation 2005 I took the 48 hour challenge that one of the speakers asked us to take. I wrote this guy a letter telling him all about God, its been a few weeks since I gave him the letter and I haven't heard a thing from him, sometimes that scares me but I've realized that Gods timing is so perfect, I cant do anything to change this boy but God can. God is so amazing and he wants to do things in his timing because he loves us and he truly knows what's best. My life has been all about learning how to trust God, He is always taking me out of my comfort zone, sometime I'm really stubborn but God always teaches me something new. As of right now I still live with my sister and her husband, they have 5 kids, 3 of which were adopted. Sometimes I still question if God knows what he is doing, but then he shows me how perfect he is, I cant help but be humbled before him and stand in awe. Of everything I have been through there isn't one thing I would change because in the midst of everything God has always been faithful and He always will be.
What’s up ya’ll? I’m Jackie from Canada.
My life began in Duncan, B.C. living with my parents and my sister Barbara. As the years went by my dad liked to move a lot and he dragged us with him. We lived in a total of sixteen different places by the time I was six years old. Eventually, after lots of harsh words, fights and bruises, my parents split. My mom peaced and brought my sis and I back to our home land of Duncan. By this time I was seven and my sissy was eight. We lived on a farm and I was as happy as can be, frolicking in the fields with the sheep and chickens but little did I know these were my family’s hardest years. My mom was in the process of divorce and trying to find the meaning of life. Not even joking, she probably experimented with like every religion that ever existed. She tested everything from Buddhism to Witchcraft to Chinese Rituals to Native Ceremonies and made my sister and I take part in all of them too. Having to experience a whole lot of religions all in a short period of time brought on a lot of confusion and questions to my little mind. I had no idea what to believe, how to trust just one teaching or how to follow them. But then, one day while sitting in the sweat lodge (a native prayer ground), my sister who was around 11 at the time said to my mom,
“I don’t think I like this anymore. I think I’m more of a ‘Church Girl’.”
So, by the time Sunday arrived, we found ourselves at a church called Bethel Baptist. Everyone was great and loving and special and I felt quite comfortable there. Although, it was quite boring compared to all the ‘pow-wows’ and decorative alters I was so used to but they served cookies in Sunday School so I didn’t object. Remember, I was still like, 9 so religions still didn’t really matter to me so much. The stories of Moses, Noah, David and Goliath, Jesus and all those guys just seemed to make the most sense to me and luckily my Sunday School teacher was smart and could answer any questions I had. Quite quickly I was convinced that this was for me, and I signed up for a week at Camp Qwanoes. I absolutely loved it there and I accepted Jesus into my heart asap. My sister had come to camp with me and she accepted Jesus too, and even though I was still young, I could feel a difference in my self and my mom said she could see that I was a happier kid all-around.
My life carried on and was all peachy until my mom had to move us out of our basement suite. We moved across town and I even had to switch schools, which was hard since I just finished grade 5 and I had a really stupid hair cut. I thought I was hopeless and I wouldn’t ever meet any friends but luckily my aunt had bought me a really cool outfit for my birthday that had Hawaiian flowers on it and no back (oo la la) so I felt confident. So, I stood in this unfamiliar line-up at an unfamiliar school and little did I know, but an unfamiliar girl was staring at my matching suit making fun of me in her head. BUT little did SHE or I know that we would become best of friends the very next day! We had been introduced six times but constantly ignored one another until she pointed out that we indeed had the same taste in clothes and we were in fact wearing the same shirt. That was the kicker. From then on and to this very day we have been inseparable. Now, you must be asking “what the heck does she have to do with your testimony” and I answer “because I’d be a complete different person if she wasn’t around.” We’ve lived through every experience together…and if you read her testimony from this point in her life on…it’d be the same as mine. PS: her name is Lindsay.
My mom was always pushing Lindsay and I to become stronger Christians and to help our friends find their way to Jesus, but we both agreed that we weren’t going to because it just wasn’t the way to have friends. I slowly drifted from Jesus when I went to middle school. I was away from Lindsay for those three years and we ended middle school each with our own handfuls of friends but we still stuck by each other. We experimented and tried different things together, such as drinking, partying, smoking pot and the whole nine yards but I never really enjoyed any of it …but I still kept on doing it…don’t ask. Lindsay and I also tried going to Youth Groups and such, but they were all SO LAME and stupid and boring that we tried to get kicked out so my mom couldn’t send us back…guess what…we always get what we want. We were kicked out of my church’s youth group and that’s mainly when Lindsay and I experimented. Then one day this kinda funny looking man (in his 20’s) who I recognized from my younger-years passed through the halls of our high school. He walked by…and walked by again and after a couple weeks of him roaming the hallways I asked
“Do I know you? Yah, I do don’t I?”
He answered, ”Yeah actually you do…I have a picture of you and your sister with a paper mache dolphin on a swing when you guys were little. You’re Jackie right?”
I believe that is when my life got back on track. This guy’s name is Andrew McWilliam and he was staring this rad youth group type thing called ‘Club’ that really interested Lindsay and I. Through it we learned how to do better out-reaching to our friends and how to keep our eyes set on Jesus. We have attended a camp with the other people in Club and had the most amazing times of our lives. Since then I still get distracted from living as an example for others, I won’t lie. I obviously have struggles and I obviously sin, but I believe that God gave me Club to keep me excited and on track because through it I’ve been learning lots and I now see and truly believe that there is a point to all this and that we all really should make an effort to live for God. It’s worth it in the end.
Alright my life was pretty normal up untill preschool when i went to a babysitter and she abused me and my sister. I didn't know that adults weren't suppose to hit you and lock
you in closets. My mom noticed that I was scared to go over to her house. That lady didnt end up getting in trouble for abusing my sister and I. I grew up in a tradtional christian house hold, but i personally didnt know god that well. Anyways after that babysitter I had another one who took my sister when she was sleeping and put ketchup on her neck and a knife in her hand...I woke up and thought my sister was dead. I was 6 at the time and I will never forget that moment. I have had lots of trust issues with older people so trusting God was really hard for me.
The rest of my life up until i was 14 was pretty normal. I went to church and was very involved in church things. When i turned 14 my sister went into the hosptial for anorexia. She was on the brink of death. My mom went to portland with her for the whole 2 months she was in there. My dad and I stayed home in pendleton, which is 4 hours away. My dad worked all the time and when he did have time off he went out and played poker. Which means i was home alone all the time. During this time I did not have a good realtionship with God so it was very lonely for me. I turned to the only people who would give me attention, boys,...I got into some bad stuff with them and got into drinking. I was thinking about suicide. But then i thought no one would even notice if i was gone. I was so depressed during this time. I ran out of class crying and it was just horrible.
My sister finally got out of the hospital and things got a little better. My parents still give her everything she wants, and i get the short end of the stick. But i am dealing with that, God is helping me. But anyways i still kept on doing bad stuff till early this summer. My sister found out what I have been doing and made me tell my mom. We had a huge break through and i just told her everything.
After this happened i went to Creation. It was a life changing experience. Meeting the guys at Newfire gave me hope that there are nice people out there in the world that love God. I am a changed person and I hope that I have helped some other people change and see how awesome God is! <><
The rest of my life up until i was 14 was pretty normal. I went to church and was very involved in church things. When i turned 14 my sister went into the hosptial for anorexia. She was on the brink of death. My mom went to portland with her for the whole 2 months she was in there. My dad and I stayed home in pendleton, which is 4 hours away. My dad worked all the time and when he did have time off he went out and played poker. Which means i was home alone all the time. During this time I did not have a good realtionship with God so it was very lonely for me. I turned to the only people who would give me attention, boys,...I got into some bad stuff with them and got into drinking. I was thinking about suicide. But then i thought no one would even notice if i was gone. I was so depressed during this time. I ran out of class crying and it was just horrible.
My sister finally got out of the hospital and things got a little better. My parents still give her everything she wants, and i get the short end of the stick. But i am dealing with that, God is helping me. But anyways i still kept on doing bad stuff till early this summer. My sister found out what I have been doing and made me tell my mom. We had a huge break through and i just told her everything.
After this happened i went to Creation. It was a life changing experience. Meeting the guys at Newfire gave me hope that there are nice people out there in the world that love God. I am a changed person and I hope that I have helped some other people change and see how awesome God is! <><
I had a very abusive dad. I didn't start to notice until I was in middle school. I noticed that his drinking was becoming his life. He was always very mentally abusive towards me, saying i was worthless, i was ugly, and threatening to take away my most prized posession, my guitar. It hurt so bad because i would look around, and all my friends had a healthy relationship with their dads and i just felt so worthless, i believed the devil's lies. That's when i started to get depressed. I grew up in a Christian home, my mom was amazing, but i still didn't have Jesus in my heart, just head knowledge. So last October my dad got in a motorcycle accident because he was completely intoxicated and high on pot. That TOTALLY made me mad to find out that he was doing pot too.... i didn't know... and apparently he had been hooked since high school. He completely denied to the police that he had been drinking/smoking when the whole time, from even 5 feet away the smell of alcohol stung my eyes. He went to the hospital to get surgery, he broke his leg and he needed some serious counseling. It was all out, my mom, brother, and I talked to the nurse about how his drinking had been affecting our lives in such a horrible way. That's when the waves of destruction rose... the secret was out about how we were being treated. It got even
worse, and i was so depressed, slipping so fast. I told my mom that if we didn't move out then i would kill myself. I was totally 100% serious, i had it planned out and everything; i didn't want to live at all if this is what it was going to be like. So, (my brother was at college) my mom & I moved out and went from friend to friend's house because my dad was trying to find us, and i had constant nightmares of him finding me and murdering me. Around the same time that all this with my dad was going on, i was being sexually abused by a boyfriend. He told me that if i broke up with him, he'd kill himself and blame it all on me. He raped me and made me do whatever he wanted me to do. I would prepare for suicide because i thought i was pregnant, and he would just laugh. I was so weak and frail and at the verge of death that i couldn't stand up for myself. i went to a camp that summer, and got up the courage to break up with him, even if it did mean he would kill himself, i was about to kill myself over it, and i was being hurt and was so scared of getting pregnant/diseases. I plotted out my suicide so many times, but something always got in the way. God still had plans for me, this broken wreck. Over Christmas, my dad & the rest of our family reunited, and it was all great for a while. Then, a couple months ago, it became all rocky again. He had been drinking again, mentally abusing, and just to see my mom so upset and crying tore up my heart and made me depressed. I was raped again, by a different guy, and that just sent me downward again. So, one night, my dad was completely intoxicated again, and we had to call the police and leave again. Having to be around that situation and leave was and is such a scary thing! So, my dad moved out and found a new place to live far from us. Things seemed to be better for a while, but then it all hit me at once,i had no dad, and i just got raped AGAIN. I always knew about Jesus, and i had been close to him, and i even got baptised a day before my birthday, but
then i was raped on my birthday; so i felt so unclean again. i was just at the pit. i didn't know what to do. I cried out for Jesus to take me, to heal my broken heart, and take my "worthless" self and use it to glorify Him. i gave my life to God, and i wanted to live it all for him! Finally, i had a father, and a real reason to live! I had a purpose finally. JEREMIAH 29:11. I didn't think God could use all that crap from my life and make it useful, but He did! I joined a depression group and became a leader, helping girls who were going through what i went through, turning their hearts to Jesus; the true and only healer. So, God can use the broken to glorify Him!!!! and as for my guitar, i still have it, and it's still my most prized possesion, to worship my heavenly father!!! JESUS IS LIFE!!! <><
I grew up believing in God, and had accepted Jesus at a young age. I went to church, but sometimes all it did was make me feel good for having gone. Sitting in church was boring for me, but occasionally I felt emotional during worship. As a kid, I went back and forth with God, feeling pumped about Him, to not feeling excited, doing my own thing. When I was about 13, walking home from hanging out with a friend, I told the Lord to leave. That summer I made a deliberate choice to leave Christ out of my life. I looked to events that were coming up to fill my emptiness. I would wait for a concert to come around, and in doing so it gave me some hope, something to look forward to. I think I also looked to having a boyfriend. I did what I wanted that summer, hanging out with people who were not the best for me, drinking a little, and trying to live life on my own, without Jesus' involvement. I also can remember feeling lonely, and feeling like God was calling me to come back, but I resisted. After a season of not having Jesus in my life, for some reason I started to go to youth group at church. I can not explain it, but I had a feeling that God was calling me to go to their winter retreat. On the last night the students gave their testimonies. I think that was the beginning of God breaking the me. They sang at the end, and it was like God's love
was gently bringing me back to him. After this was over, I remember talking with one of the youth leaders. I had started to cry. The things I had tried to fill my heart with were not working, and the boy I went out with was gone. Jesus came to me so gently, and spoke to my heart and soul. When God showed me the immensity of His love, my heart was pierced, because I realized that I had turned my back on Him. As the youth leader talked with me, the tears poured down. With the tears though came an amazing presence of the Lord. He filled me with a peace that night, and it was like He had forgiven all my wrongs. That night I could feel God's angels over me, guarding me.
The next day, they sang some more. As they lifted their voices to the Lord, worshipping Him, I felt like God was right there gently singing love songs in my ear, tears poured. I had seen God in a whole new light, and wanted Him to be with me forever. Since then God has not left my side, and has been a source of fulfillment for me. Even though I screw up all the time, he never leaves me!:)
The next day, they sang some more. As they lifted their voices to the Lord, worshipping Him, I felt like God was right there gently singing love songs in my ear, tears poured. I had seen God in a whole new light, and wanted Him to be with me forever. Since then God has not left my side, and has been a source of fulfillment for me. Even though I screw up all the time, he never leaves me!:)